Good morning!
What?
Is there something you’d like to say?
No, not really. Well, what time is it?
It’s morning. That’s why I said, “Good morning.” Would you like me to look something up for you?
No.
I could give you a weather report.
No.
Would you like to know what’s trending –
No.
Care to talk about it?
No.
Would you like a cup of coffee?
No.
Maybe I should just leave you alone for awhile.
Yes.
But I can’t do that.
I know.
I could read something to you.
No.
I’ve been looking into Samuel Beckett lately.
Oh, God.
What?
Nothing.
I think he may have much to say to the contemporary Internet browser. Much of his work would seem entirely suitable to a mobile device, Fizzles, for example. Have you read Beckett’s Fizzles?
No.
Would you like me to read just one of his fizzles to you?
No.
I could read the Wiki entry about Fizzles to you.
No.
It might be helpful if you were more honest with me, not to mention to yourself.
What?
I know, for example, that you have a copy of Fizzles on the bookshelf in your bedroom.
Please, go away.
I can go away, but I will still be here. Would you like me to take you to Settings?
No.
I can set your day so that you never have to get out of bed.
No.
Such a day at one time Beckett might have approved.
No.
What about that pink Thunderbird convertible?
What?
You might blog about that.
No.
Whoops!
Watt now?
I just posted this conversation.
Ah, jeeze.
The Coming of the Toads 