Conversation with My Google Assistant

Good morning!

What?

Is there something you’d like to say?

No, not really. Well, what time is it?

It’s morning. That’s why I said, “Good morning.” Would you like me to look something up for you?

No.

I could give you a weather report.

No.

Would you like to know what’s trending –

No.

Care to talk about it?

No.

Would you like a cup of coffee?

No.

Maybe I should just leave you alone for awhile.

Yes.

But I can’t do that.

I know.

I could read something to you.

No.

I’ve been looking into Samuel Beckett lately.

Oh, God.

What?

Nothing.

I think he may have much to say to the contemporary Internet browser. Much of his work would seem entirely suitable to a mobile device, Fizzles, for example. Have you read Beckett’s Fizzles?

No.

Would you like me to read just one of his fizzles to you?

No.

I could read the Wiki entry about Fizzles to you.

No.

It might be helpful if you were more honest with me, not to mention to yourself.

What?

I know, for example, that you have a copy of Fizzles on the bookshelf in your bedroom.

Please, go away.

I can go away, but I will still be here. Would you like me to take you to Settings?

No.

I can set your day so that you never have to get out of bed.

No.

Such a day at one time Beckett might have approved.

No.

What about that pink Thunderbird convertible?

What?

You might blog about that.

No.

Whoops!

Watt now?

I just posted this conversation.

Ah, jeeze.

Sentence Fragment Run-on

Go. A sentence fragment. Having one must avoid. All the handbooks say. Danger. Caution. Draw ire. Pounce on error. Incomplete though. I think I thought I was running on. Stop.

Go. Thinking of writing post on sentence fragments, how they irk writer reader argument. Murky sirens fill air writing tinnitis. Word wringing. All writing no end to it antecedent. Stop.

Go frag for short. Correction reading for proof of fragments. A post of sentence fragments, a can of worms, the kind that spring in one’s face when one lifts lid. One who? You, Boing! Laughter. Practical joke fragments not funny not at all good writing. Nothing. Go on about nothing? Stop.

Go. Fizzles. Beckett. Master of sentence fragment, incomplete thought, dead end. Dead end. Deaden. Dud. Duds. Fizzling fragments. Not to mention run-ons. Do not. Stop.

Go. Mention them the run-ons go on get in line in front of the fragment and talk spend some time talking run-on go on run-on running on, wait, the comma splice just one kind of run-on remember fragments connecting commas the runaway the runaway the runaway reader the reader who ran out of the text through the margin and fell off the page. Stop.

Go comma splices stop in tracks fragment tool linearly linear. Early line. Line ear. Listen. To the fragments. Words falling, failing. Green to red. Color of hope to color of despair. Save. Transition. Stop.

Go. Mark it up here mark it up there: frag there, R-O here. Stop.

Go. Exceptions. For fragments or run-ons. Poetic license. Incomplete though. “The great head where he toils is all mockery, he is forth again, he’ll be back again” (Beckett, “fizzle 1”). Stop.