• Words of Love

    Honey,
    I’ve looked everywhere
    for the lost words
    telling your love for me
    in the kitchen compost bin
    in the basement of my heart
    in the attic of my ass (what
    a Fantastic Voyage that was!)
    through the crawl space
    between my breasts
    in the curls of my hair
    in the fishnets between my legs
    between my toes and under my nails
    Alas! nowhere to be found,

    she said, subtle armpits open
    to the heat of the night

    Baby, she went on,
    I can’t love you if I can’t
    find the right words of love
    come back tomorrow or next week
    I’ve got the College Dictionary
    here and the Bible
    and a stack of noir paperbacks
    I’ll find your words of love
    if it’s the last thing I do

    Up my nose, under my eyelids
    around and around my ears
    maybe stuck in earwax I’m thinking
    his words of love where could they be
    could someone have stolen them
    who would want them
    someone else’s words
    could they be buried
    in the cushions of the couch
    lost in the halo of my navel
    tangled in the curlers tossed
    across my dresser in the old
    35 millimeter slide box
    in the china cabinet in the corner
    (which has not been opened
    over a decade of Thanksgivings)
    in the medicine chest upstairs
    in the hall closet
    in the glove box of the Buick
    under the rug
    in the dirty clothes hamper

    Maybe, Sweetie, you told them
    too slant, or to another
    words of love must be true
    if they are to come back to you.

    20180705_185322

     

  • Around the point at high tide

    …picking up somewhere we left off…

    The past is not enough to live on
    to make ends meet.

    what test passed avoids stays
    to wheedle this incessant urge
    past the tinnitus still sings proof
    below like wave bounce go easy
    under the sheer cliff and around
    the mossy point to the bay
    where the dolphins play

    but the past is not enough to live on
    you say and you say things like
    anyway the sea is calm tonight
    and you need to calm down
    and relax we are past all that
    pother the rigmarole accoutrements
    impedimenta odds and ends
    ins and outs no you need
    to cool off i’m sorry if you are
    disappointed but you see
    how tranquil this palaver
    becomes us as we unbend
    and are made drowsy
    not dreary but like
    drizzle after a wave breaks.

    South of Refugio

     

     

  • Scrap start with a comma

    , and the Doodles on the radio
    just before the power grids out
    sing of the last rhino ringed.
    The past is not enough to live on
    to make ends meet.

    The colony runs consistent lanes
    running in opposite directions
    like lines of ancient text
    the queen home her future
    near but never quite here.

    20180628_083449

  • The Good Earth

    Let’s make our planet good again
    think pigeons their T Rex origin.

    Oh wings of flesh and steel to fly
    you must first grow feathers.

    What cares the sloth slug squished
    by dino or sprayed with Ortho?

    As for Anthro won’t he be petrified
    up to his waste in his own coprolite?

    Rid us our original sins
    let us be innocent again.

    Imagine no water no fire no air
    worse called in sick your au pair.

    Earth responds ever was I a grand hotel
    now is checkout time fare-thee-well.

    The Good Earth

  • Survival Manual

    I was walking in Mt Tabor Park the other day, on a path rarely taken, steep on the south side, affording views of the college campus, its low buildings in the shade of the giant trees, the wide swath of grass between Gray and the cafe green but empty. I paused to reflect, praying peace, happiness, and lightness of spirit might fall like gentle rain onto my old colleagues and former students, and just before I moved on, I spied a small blue pocket notebook, partially buried in the brush under a bush. I pulled it out and dusted it off.

    On the cover was handwritten, in a swirling cursive style, “Survival Manual.” I paged through the little notebook, about the size of a hand, about 40 pages or so, unlined, filled with handwritten notes, instructions, recipes, doodles, lists – places to go, things to do, people to see, books to read, movies liked or disliked, and short poems with simple drawings, every page crammed full of such stuff until, like a Jackson Pollock painting, there seemed not a single space left for another drip or word. There being no place nearby to sit comfortably and study the notebook further, I stuck it into my back pocket and walked on, wondering what catastrophe, big or small, might have resulted in the notebook’s author having lost it.

    Home from the walk, I tossed the Survival Manual, not feeling, perhaps naively, mortally threatened at the moment, onto my desk in the dining room, already askew with bad reading and writing habits, books with bookmarks stuck in the middle, notebooks covered with dust still full of the promise of empty pages. “Write in me!” someone had finger-written in the dust of one. Magazines and journals weeks, months, quarters old. Before long, “Survival Manual” was buried beneath more pressing, unfinished projects.

    A few weeks drifted by, catastrophes here and there, near and far, sudden, usually unexpected turns throwing people overboard whatever ship they happened to be sailing at the time. Still, I lacked the necessary closeness at hand to bring me to my senses and recognize the plight of our planet includes, indeed, all of us, including me. I mean to say, I’m aware of our current risks, dangers, follies and what ifs, but what really am I proactively doing to come to the aid of our planet? I mean to say, is showering only every third day or so and recycling properly, enough? Then came, locally, yet another heat wave record, and finding that I was confined by the heat outdoors to the house, even in the evening, when the sun had gone down, I decided to direct an electric fan toward my dining room desk and clear the clutter. If I had to be so hot, I would at least be neat about it. The fan, of course, produces heat as an unnoticed but negative side effect, as does the laptop on which I’m now typing these notes, bringing to you, too, dear reader of the Toads, a mere suggestion from the “Survival Manual.”

    I uncovered the survival manual, immediately set aside my goal for a clean desk, and sat down in front of the fan with the manual in hand to take a closer look. I decided the notebook to be the work of a genius or madman. Of course, now that we are old and among the awakened ones, we realize the two are often one and the same. The survival manual author, who I will now refer to as SMA, wrote in a kind of shorthand style, skipping superfluous parts of speech, using fragments ignoring subject or predicate, adding icon doodles to illustrate ideas, inventions. SMA apparently possessed an ironic kind of sense of humor, too. A few of the drawings were captioned with hopeless and unexpected explanations: “Planet Senile”; “Moving to the Moon – what to take along”; “Breaststroke for polluted waters”; “How to recycle the non-recyclable.”

    I paused at a page titled “Under Extreme [Heat].” Rather than describe it, I’ve attached a pic taken with my cell, to wit: 20180729_113151

    It suddenly dawned on me that “Survival Manual” is a book of cartoons.

     

  • Pig Roast

    In backyard rock lined pit dug underground for roasting of pig.

    This yr pig day a hot one. The pig on a spit put into the pit by two strongest men, kneeling over the mouth, where a wood fire burning overnight has heated the rocks molten. The prepared pig at rest in the hot rocks, a sheet metal lid pulled over the hole. The pig cooks in the ground all this long hot day.

    Waiting while pig cooks, drinking beer, young men throwing horse shoes, kids playing capture the flag in the closed street, salads prepped inside in the kitchen (where a ceiling fan famously spins), watermelon slices and water balloon toss in the front yard.

    The pig pulls out early evening, after the old folks nap in the shade of the dusty eucalyptus.

    The planet spins, spit pointed this pole toward the sun, one hot stone roasting a pretty blue pig, green apples popped in its mouth.

    General agreement this yrs pig tastiest on record.

    “This heat keeps up, soon be fixing swine in the shade of the sun,” Mr. Picbred says, mouth swill of pig, popping a fresh beer, sitting in front porch rocker, plate on lap, feet up, breathing from his belly, watching our sun go down.

    global warming

  • An Old Cat

    He ate no more,
    “Please me no tuna
    dish at your open door,”
    around the room a moat
    filled with stone worms.

    For bait he’d chummed
    kittens cutely perched
    in nooks of paper cut hearts.
    A trawler he rowed to catch
    the bones of relict relish.

    He went on like this and on,
    a sophist uttering disgruntled
    guttural grunts mistaken
    for charms by gullible
    attendants on holiday for good.

    His gig whirled on the briny beach,
    bodies of ditched sea snails filling
    with new fats and oils and muscle.
    He stow away in a cave,
    plenty likes to last a new day.

  • Mending Walk

         on and on the walk       the low wall climbing       of something not

    the walk and come       bestrewn the hill       a wall of lifted stone

    and come to a low          or down the hill       a noisy neighbor

    to a low wall built       ascending or descending       harmonica

    wall built of loose       so much depends      on blazing a path

    of loose stones       deep ends       to hegemony

    some fallen       on perspective       from lines

    fallen strewn       which comes        from punctuation

    strewn dry weeds       seasoned start       to and fro

    on this side       of a mending       walk     meandering

    maunder and you reader on the other side other side

    of this wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall |||
    wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall walllllwall wall wall wall wall wall |||
    waaaaaalllllllalalalawallalalalawallalalawalllalalawall wall wall wall wall wall |||
    wallawallawallawallawallawallawallawallawallalwall wall wall wall wall wall |||
    of this wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wall wallwall wall wall wall wall wall |||

     

  • Out of the Blue Review of Alma Lolloon

    A fun and generous review of Alma Lolloon has appeared on Amazon. Here is a link, and I’ve pasted the review below:

    by, Rucker Trill


    July 4, 2018

    Format: Paperback|Verified Purchase
    Dear Miss Lolloon – You are no doubt by now growing weary of fan mail after the publication of your eponymous novel, Alma Lolloon, but I just finished reading it, so I must write to tell you how much I liked it.

    Right off the bat I thought, hmmm, this is new and unusual given the absence of most punctuation not to mention quote marks so that I knew I was in uncharted waters here, or maybe a better metaphor (I learned that word from the book)would be along the line of separating skeins of different colored yarn after the kittens have been in the knitting basket. But soon enough I got my stride and realized that this is the way things happen in real life – there are no quotation marks there, now are there. And it seems like that’s the way this book unrolls, just like life with the unexpected hidden just around the corner, under the everyday. (Though given your five husbands I wonder if anything about your life is “everyday”.)

    I’m no writer myself, but one of the things I liked was how you and your friends talk about the book right there in the book while they’re supposedly hearing the book! I mean whoa! What’s that about? It was like falling into a hall of mirrors or something. I asked a professor who lives down the block about it, and she said you were “meta-texting” and after I showed her a few pages she said you were doing it very humorously, and I confess I laughed way more than once. But like I said, I’m no writer, so who knows.

    Now, I don’t knit but I’d love to join you and Curly, Hattie, and Rufa some day for coffee and scones and we could talk more about your book. I could even bring the scones. Maybe some time in August? I plan to be up your way then.

    Anyway, I’ve run on too long and I know you’re busy on your next book. I hope it’s a mystery, I really like the mystery part of the book with Jack Rack. (I think you should have married him!)

    Best regards, Rucker

     

  • Inflation

    a simple moon
    once worth two bits
    now a bucket of silver dollars
    won’t buy a room with a hotplate
    view of the polluted lake.

    when all universe
    was still local
    we slept in the sky
    now moving stairs
    carry off the awful.

    the moon we have lights
    a dark gold daylily closed
    the mope maroon dragon snapped
    June dropped apples in grassy shade
    a few listening pray.

    the moon lost recedes
    we can no longer even point to it
    a pearl moon our best friend
    the moon we want grows cold
    our bare feet burning.

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