• The gods Get Bored

     Riding Harley in the rain in Seattle. Ball lightning. The gods.

    I throttled my green gnarly Harley across I-90 from Bellevue, wind chopped waves blowing over the wall on the south side of the bridge, the water as smooth as a coffin lid on the north side. I raddled through the last tunnel and merged onto I-5 north to downtown Seattle. A glob of ball lightning looped out of a smoke ring cloud hanging over the ballpark. The ball lightning bounced across the closed roof. The baseball stadium looked funereal. No game tonight. The winter circus was in town. On nights like this the gods might get bored and when the gods get bored no amount of prayer satisfies these clouds of gluttony, the local paradise filling like a wet basement. Why so many gods, I don’t know. Even the Catholics (and I am one, though maybe not a good one, whatever good means, but as Reverend Mother Mary Annette never tired of telling us, once a Catholic, always a Catholic), who profess belief in but one God, pray to the Saints and Mary and the rest, who seem to function much like the old Greek and Roman gods, one for every need or desire, one for every occasion, one for every problem, one for every predicament. A god for this, a god for that. A god for the nice, a god for the mean. Finely balanced too, the old gods, but like an unequal arm balance, some more powerful than others, leaving it to the mortals to try to balance things out. Still, evens up: one for light, one for dark; one for water, one for air; one for love, one for hate. Always meddling in human affairs, though, these immortals. Sure seem to get in the way all too often. Always wanting something, too, a piece of the human pie chart, insatiable. Why do we keep calling out to them? Was there a Saint of scooters? Could use a prayer to him now.  Dear Saint Scooter, please get me and my Vespa downtown safely, as an 18 wheeler passes at twice my speed, his mud flap cowgirls waving and laughing. God of lead, god of gold. God of the meek, and god of the bold. God of yes, and god of no. God of hot, god of cold. God of bought, and god of sold. God of gods, who never grows old, oldest of all.

    “The gods Get Bored”
    is episode 1 of
    Ball Lightning
    a Novel in Progress
    in Serial Format at The Coming of the Toads

  • Baseball, the Canned Crowd, and the F Word

    At first, I couldn’t find the Dodgers on TV last night, the second game in a series with the Giants in Los Angeles beginning the 2020 shortened season; apparently wasn’t available on the MLB channel in Portland. The Mariners were on the local Root Sports channel, and I was glad to hear the same folks doing the play-by-play as if nothing has changed. Then I was surprised to find the Dodger game on some obscure cable channel. I watched an infield grounder, the batter thrown out at first, a routine play, and then I heard it: Canned Cheering, a canned crowd.

    To be canned is to be thrown out, maybe deriving from the US English garbage can. The 2020 season, delayed about four months by the pandemic shutdown, is being played in stadiums full of empty seats, no tickets sold, unless you count the selfie cutouts available from the Dodgers. That must be where the noise is coming from.

    If you’ve ever played a game of street or backyard whiffle ball, or a game of over-the-line in the local park, you might know you don’t need an audience to enjoy baseball. Rules vary depending on the venue – over the house is a home run, but a foul ball over the fence, falling into the street, is an automatic out.

    “I’m the Dodgers. Who are you?”
    “I’ll be the Giants, Juan Marichal on the mound.”

    The game is on, all a foot, the fantasy as real as real ever gets.

    Because Major League Baseball as viewed from the stands or television is not exactly real. The real game is played behind a facade of hero, dream, and cleanliness. Maybe the canned crowd was brought in because of plays like the one in which Dodger Joc Pederson, on his way to being thrown out at first in the fanless season opener, doubles the F Word while running down the line, his voice fairly clearly picked up by the TV mics in the quiet stadium and broadcast into living rooms around the US – where, what, no one ever uses the F Word?

    Respect is born out of shame, shame a form of control. Language is contumacious; it swells and breaks and rolls like the restless ocean. Words are turbulent, irrepressible. At the same time, cussing is often the evidence of a lazy tongue. That is why I decided to omit the F Word from “Penina’s Letters,” with the exception of the discussion in the chapter titled “Henry and the Punctuations”:

    “The experience of war can not be told in words,” I said, “but when F-words fill the cheeks with froth, a fascist has infiltrated the mind.”
    “Who the fuck talks like that?” Bucket scrunched his eyebrows over scowling lips.
    “My friend, Henry,” I said. “It’s a game we play.”
    “Clever,” Gabbia said. “But getting back to the common soldier, surely words like fuck and shit are as common as cigarettes and coffee. Part of his mess kit, I shouldn’t wonder.”
    “That’s right,” I said. “And, like the mess, rationed.”
    “But surely the unfixed tongue is one of the few freedoms the foot soldier feels, and in the fire of the fight, is a weapon he can unleash to gratify his fear.”
    “To be frank, no,” I said. “But, the foot soldier does make efficient and effective use of his F-word vocabulary.”
    “Do tell,” Gabbia said (148-149).

    Photo: With my brother John at a Dodger game, September, 1975. Photo by Susan.

  • The Dream of Baseball

    “And the phantom crowd’s horrific boo
    dispersed the gargoyles from Notre Dame.”

    “Dream of a Baseball Star,” Gregory Corso, from The Happy Birthday of Death, 1960

    Yesterday, July 23, was opening day of the pandemic delayed Major League Baseball season. That’s about four months later than normal. The abnormal, short 60 game season is underway. Welcome to the virtual ballpark. I missed the first game, the Yankees vs Washington Nationals in New York, which already tested one of the new, shortened season rules: the Nationals lost in only 5 and half innings, timing out due to rain delay. One of the new short season rules eliminates any chance to play the game out to 9 innings.

    But I caught the second game, the Dodger game, against the visiting Giants, played in a fanless Dodger Stadium on what appeared to be a typical sunny late July LA evening, but quiet, still, the air clear. What is the opposite of standing room only? Empty seats.

    But not exactly empty. Cardboard cutouts of fans filled the seats behind home plate. There was Tommy Lasorda, former Dodger player and manager, leading the cheers to the Dodger late innings 8 to 1 win. Fans can buy a selfie cutout. Maybe Paul and Ringo will spring for a whole pavilion section devoted to cutouts from the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album cover.

    Baseball has never been a good example of an effectively televised sport (McLuhan explained why). But the season opener last night underscored the importance of a fan filled stadium, smelly beer and greasy hotdogs, peanuts, and Cracker Jack, also the importance of ceremonial hoopla to major league sports. The fans are part of the game, as William Carlos Williams suggested in his poem, “The crowd at the ball game“:

    “It is summer, it is the solstice
    the crowd is

    cheering, the crowd is laughing
    in detail

    permanently, seriously
    without thought”

    Aging, and working on mindfulness, one may find one’s lackadaisical waking mindset similar to one’s sleeping condition. Normally (not necessarily as a rule but on the whole and customarily), the logical links connecting thoughts create continuity and coherence and one feels in control, though who or where that one is, where one feels it, or to what extent any feeling of control is fantastical, gets instant replay once the lights go out – replay in slow-motion, surreal angles, calls reversed. That helps explain why poets have always had an affinity for baseball.

    Photo: Portland Beavers, by Joe Linker

  • What Shall We Do With a Drunken Surfer

    She bops down to the beach to dance
    in the sand by the water the seaweed
    brittle and he trips aback and nearly falls
    like the drunken sailor in the shanty
    “Ho! No! Thar she blows!”

    She desires to dance politely
    he wants to throw the bottle
    into the waves they bouncing
    round two junks in the vessel
    carried away in a rash riptide

    With a message for the great white
    whale they glide over the stonefish
    ease through a fluther of box jellies
    the moon full but the night not fair
    the music stops the beach empties

    He awakes in the bottle rolling in the ripples
    with her sound asleep soft nipples
    in the warm sand above the water line
    calm and sober like the walrus
    angel watching over you

    What shall we do with a drunken surfer
    who dreams full of fishes seaweed wrack
    brack Saltwort Ale and other foolishness
    who never caught a fish nor wave enough
    to feed his wife out combing the beach

  • Still Life

    If Dad was usually on bad terms with cars, Mom had little to do with them. She never drove, never learned to drive a car, was never licensed, never carried any kind of personal identification – more remarkable since we lived in a suburban Los Angeles area, one of the beach cities, but west of the sand dunes, and there was no public transportation to speak of, one bus, LA Line 51, as I recall, that passed through town on its way through the beach cities once or twice a day, usually empty if and when you happened to catch a glimpse of it. And the city was located within boundaries that in effect created a small town atmosphere: to the west, the sand dunes and ocean, with no houses built on the west slope of the dunes or near the water like you found in Venice to the north and El Porto to the south; to the north, the airport; to the south, an industrial area of small manufacturing and local taverns and the monstrous and secretive and mysterious Standard Oil refinery; to the east, strawberry fields, a stable for keeping horses and trails for riding, later with motocross trails where we rode bikes, and a small-industry area, and the westside little league baseball park. Now of course, the town is not recognizable for what it was, and I’ve no desire to go back, except maybe to walk along the beach, or out on the jetty, from which I might toss a few Toads posts into the water.

    We lived on a busy 4-way stop corner, catty corner from an elementary school with a large open field where we played capture the flag, football, baseball, and rode the swings. And across from our corner lot, sat what was then called “The Village,” a small shopping center, anchored by a local grocery store standing separate on the corner, and behind it a one story line of shops with wood shake roof and with covered sidewalk, which included a hairdresser, a laundromat, a small gift shop that included a post office window, a small cafe with booths and a bar-counter where lonely people sat and ate their burgers with fries and drank their milkshakes, a barber shop, and a liquor store where you could buy comic books. With the market and village shops across the street, and since she never had a job outside the house, and given Dad’s lack of affinity for cars, I suppose Mom had even less motivation or reason to learn to drive.

    In any case, Mom got rides when necessary from church friends, and from my sisters and me when we learned to drive and got cars. But my sisters moved away soon after high school, and I often took Mom to appointments, to the doctor or dentist, for her or one of the kids. But one day, though I happened to be home, Mom was getting a ride up to the church from a friend up the block. I was in my little room in the garage Dad and I had built for me when I got back from the Army and found my digs in the main house usurped by siblings. Someone came through the yard calling for me. Mom got run over by a car, was the gist of the message. I ran out to the street and there was Mom laid out under the rear of a car, behind the rear wheel. She was ok, though. We got her up and dusted her off. The driver of course was distraught.

    The car had pulled over to pick up Mom who was standing on the sidewalk, waiting. As she was getting into the car via the back door, the car lurched, Mom fell, her legs sliding under the car, and the rear right tire drove over her legs. That was her story, even if the evidence didn’t seem to support it. Rather than argue for or against the evidence, and given that she appeared unhurt, it was quickly decided that the event was clearly a miracle. Folks stopped by for days after, to see her legs, to celebrate the miracle.

    Photo: Kids playing in the treehouse-fort on the side of the house across from the market and Village, mid70’s.

  • Reassessments

    According to Google Ngram, use of the word reassessment peaks around 1990, a climb beginning in the 20s, rarely used prior to 1900. We suspect what’s driving that curve are real estate markets. But to reassess is still relevant to publications, which is to say, books will go out of print, magazines fold, newspapers disappear – and folks will leave Twitter or abandon once again their high school acquaintances or second cousins found on Facebook. Clicking on a blog one has not visited for some time may turn up: This account does not exist: try another search.

    So too, does one reassess one’s involvement in both writing and reading: annually, quarterly, monthly, daily, or with each post or page. What am I doing here? Who is reading this? Will anyone like? Do I like? Who, what, when, why, where, and how – how to write, and why? How to read, and why?

    When we read a book, we turn the page, back and forth, if you read like me, up and down. So called social media sites generally all work upward: we page up, but as we page up, what’s down continues falling and disappears through some virtual cutting room floor. Usually, only the most recent posts, comments, tweets, pics – whatever – get any attention. Form is in the driver’s seat. And the form of social media sites requires constant replenishment (Google Ngram shows constant and regular use of the word replenish from 1800 past 2000). But the social media publications get replenished even though the stock is still full, even if nothing has been depleted.

    The social media cup is neither half empty nor half full; it’s always full, as this post no doubt attests. Full of what, might make material for a different post.

    Photo: The Teacups ride at Disneyland, exiting the park at closing time, Joe Linker, around mid-90s.

  • Insect Us

    The bed cuts in two below
    the double hung window
    a winged grass summer
    recruited fellow enters
    follows hollows spends
    the sun day in tiered
    bell bottom cuffs.

    The light suspended night
    emerges sounds now audible
    flushes waterflow distances
    scratched glasses niblings
    windowsill paint flakes
    scent trail antennae erect.

    Crawling to the bed
    an 18 wheelerlegger
    seen from 8 miles high
    climbing the Grapevine
    downshifting in the heat.

    Slithers up the sheet
    the fan worrying wakes
    you just in time to see it
    climb across the bed
    to my side where
    you let me sleep.



  • Loaner

    My Dad was never on very friendly terms with cars.
    “It feels like it ain’t gettin’ no gas,” he explained
    to Jack, the mechanic on duty in greasy overalls.

    The loaner, a loner, sat in the backlot behind
    the filling station, unfulfilled, a rusty old dog,
    for days, sometimes weeks, until an overnight
    repair required its use. We had to jump start it
    again and again.

    We were driving up Mariposa when I opened
    the glove box, a curious cat, and pulled out
    the little box about the size of a matchbox.
    “You know what that is?” Dad said.
    “No, what?” I had already opened it
    and found it was empty.
    “Nevermind,” Dad said.

    But what was it doing in the glove box
    of the loaner? And we went to Jack’s
    in the first place because of Church.
    It was a little mystery, and still is.

    The thing about our car under repair,
    it was a 1956 Ford Station Wagon,
    a baby blue and white twotone,
    it needed a narrative to hold together.

    Random, disconnected parts littered
    the shop floor, tools hanging from nails
    of the bare studs, a transistor radio
    playing what would come to be called
    oldies, but not for another decade or two.

    What you want in a car is a
    coherent whole, a story
    that makes sense, with reason
    and use and value,
    even if it is not true.
    It’s nuance to suggest it, but
    the truth often rings of nonsense.

    Photo: Joe Linker with ’49 Ford, a gift from his father,
    3 speed on the column, no A/C, no heat, no radio:
    The Peace Truck, around 1969, on Loma Vista.
    Just visible, tail and fin of Jacobs Surfboard.
    After Joe bought his ’64 VW bus, he gifted
    the truck to brother-in-law Raymond.
  • Signs

    No Vacancy Next Exit Yield Yellow
    Curves Ahead Jesus Saves 20 is Plenty
    Men Working Wrong Way Slow Down
    Beach Turnout R R Trucks Surf’s Up
    No U-Turn Warning Coming Merge
    Living Together Dinosaur Crossing
    Strong Odor Theatre No Syntax
    Call Mother Footnotes Wait Here
    Boiler Room Home Economics Pool
    Skid Row Lemonade Hardware
    Look Concrete Buy Sell Trade
    Cash for Cool Clothes Shoes Hats
    Only the Lonely Steel Plate Cars
    Dance Tonight Bingo Poker
    Yoga Beer Book Rack Comics
    Yes Short Story Masterpieces
    Happenings Falls Rounding
    Not an Exit Lemon Drops
    People Sleeping in Roadway
    Birds Icy Spots Leery Reckless
    Backstage Backstory Face Front
    1000 Ugly Christmas Sweaters
    Noises Off Flying Goat Coffee
    Trees of Mystery No Roller Skates
    Route 66 Las Vegas Barstow
    Fabulous No Standing Anytime
    Lands End Dip Advertise Here
    Mudslide Homes of Happiness
    End of the Trail No Lifeguard

  • Pretty, vacant, and we don’t care

    Watch the stars as they collide
    Erase the dots in your eyes

    What do the lyrics say we can’t hear
    The singer and the song disappear

    Pretty vacant and we don’t care
    Pretty vacant and we don’t care

    What’s your name the color of your hair
    Saw you down at the LA fair

    Have so much no need to share
    Look at us oh what a pair

    Pretty vacant and we don’t care
    Pretty vacant and we don’t care

    “Pretty, vacant, and we don’t care”
    was part of an originals set played on
    Live at 5 from the Portland Joe Zone last night,
    and included:
    Bury My Heart in the Muddy Mississippi
    If You’ll Be My Love
    Two Riders Were Approaching
    Goodbye, Joe
    She Shakes Me Out

  • Delete City

    Welcome to Delete 
    City Without a Past
    Population: Zero.

    Your drive thru
    will be deleted
    upon Exit.

    But the place is bustling
    with buskers and hawkers
    walkers and tricksters,

    Bills and Hanks,
    Waynes and Millys,
    Saras and Dolittles,

    venues to eat, drink,
    shop til you drop, but
    No Accumulating. 

    Tune to KDEL
    for the latest news & weather
    from Josh the Whisperer.

    No Loitering 

    You are now leaving
    Delete City
    Come Back Soon! 

    Your visit
    has been
    deleted.