Tag: Waiting

  • Waiting for a Cold Spell

    I’ve been reading aloud evenings to Susan, “Excellent Women,” by Penelope Pym. First published in 1952, the setting is London after the war. Soldiers are coming home, rentals are hard to find, some foods are still being rationed. The narrator is the understated, astute Mildred Lathbury, a bit over 30, who has a flat of her own, but must share a bathroom with the lodgers downstairs. She attends church regularly, helps with the jumble sales and flowers for the altar, and is drawn into relationships involving a cast of characters requiring her free and easy to come by assistance. Every character’s name seems effectively thought out. Not my favorite character, but certainly my favorite name, is Everard Bone, an anthropologist:

    “I crept quietly up to my flat and began to prepare supper. The house seemed to be empty. Saturday night . . . perhaps it was right that it should be and I sitting alone eating a very small chop. After I had washed up I would listen to Saturday Night Theatre and do my knitting. I wondered where the Napiers were, if they were out together, or if Helena was with Everard Bone” (57).

    It’s my third time reading “Excellent Women,” but just the first time reading it aloud. A few nights ago, a chapter began with this:

    “A list of furniture is not a good beginning to a letter, though I dare say a clever person with a fantastic turn of mind could transform even a laundry list into a poem.

    I sat for a long time at my desk, unable to put pen to paper, idly turning the pages of a notebook in which I kept accounts and made shopping lists. How fascinating they would have been, had they been mediaeval shopping lists! I thought. But perhaps there was matter for poetry in them, with their many uncertainties and question marks” (164).

    And I have been sitting this morning at my writing table wondering if I have time for some writing that might make for a good post for this here Hear ye blog. The electric folks are on the block this week replacing utility poles, and we’ve been told they will shut our power off for most of the day today, likely around 8 to 3, though it’s now 9 and the coffee is still hot and the temperature inside stable. The big inconvenience, once the power goes off, comes from it being only around 40 degrees out, and our old place does not hold heat any longer than a tee shirt and swim trunks in a dunk at Refugio.

    A few weeks ago, I bought a digital subscription to the New York Times for $4.00 a month. Little did I know at the time that I would spend as much time on their Games page as on their news. Like most things pocket phone related, the games are addictive. My favorite is Spelling Bee. Every day, a new circle of 7 letters is posted for you to type as many words over 3 letters long as you can find – all using the center letter. Today’s letters amount to a difficult episode: b c d y t e o. So far, I’ve found only 8 words: Body, Booty, Byte, Dotty, Eddy, Teddy, Toddy, and Toyed. My score at this point is “Nice,” the rankings ranging from Beginner to Good Start, Moving Up, Good, Solid, Nice, Great, Amazing, and Genius. A four letter word is worth only 1 point, longer words worth more, a pangram scores high. The longest word I’ve logged so far is Ineffective. Statistics are maintained in the game file. I’ve worked 35 puzzles, finding 755 words, including 16 pangrams, but only 4 times have I scored Genius.

    I doubt Barbara Pym succumbing to digital games, but maybe Mildred Lathbury would play along. Here’s a short poem I made using the words from the Spelling Bee mentioned above:

    Waiting for a Cold Spell
    Teddy swimming in the spilling morning waves
    Dotty over having this morning scored Amazing
    In the New York Times oft Toyed Toddy in hand
    Testing word Bytes but Eddy and Bill stay away
    For the Booty is holy Body alone and cold here
    Unlike marbles in a warm dust of green Spring.

    “Excellent Women,” by Barbara Pym, was first published in Great Britain by Jonathan Cape in 1952, in the US by E. P. Dutton in 1978, and my edition by Penguin Books in 2006.

  • Waiting for Spring

    We spend a fair time waiting, waiting for this, for that, for them and those to come and go, to start and end, to rise and fall, full and eclipse. And for Spring to spring, our world coiled like hair in plastic curlers held in place with bobby pins (see F. Scott Fitzgerald’s, “Bernice Bobs Her Hair”).

    We don’t wait in Winter, when we freeze in place and live in the cold moment (waiting is Samuel Beckett’s dry theme), but as the great slow thaws finally come we start to wait for a stronger sun and almost believe again in Spring and Spring does come slowly over the horizon and up the sky climbing a ladder of weathered trellises where last year’s climbing vines still cling frozen in place.

    We anticipate Spring with its cartoon-like colors unfolding:

  • Halloween 23

    One of the lab techs is dressed as a witch, black hood and black full length cloak over white scrubs, masked, black witchy boots. No one else seems to be in obvious costume, other than their regular rigs, but a gargantuan pizza delivery dude has just come into the waiting room carrying a stack of four extra large pizza boxes. Halloween pizza party at the lab. But I’m on a fast, preparatory to a blood test, so I probably won’t get a slice of pizza, even if offered. Meantime, waiting in waiting room, pull out the phone and start a Halloween post.

    Mind-wandering. Outside, the last, forecast says, of a short string of sunny days, fall crisp and cool. Yesterday in morning sun south slant long walk in the park up and down trails around the rim during which I kept my phone running on a live Instagram video. The result was grainy and I’ve since deleted it, but a few viewers dialed in during the walk. I enjoy Instagram videos on location. In this week’s London Review of Books, an article mentions Albert Camus abhorred travel. I get that. But he did make a trip to New York one year. I’ve never been to New York. Maybe some day, if I ever get out of this lab.

    A voice keeps calling out names, every 30 seconds or so, more names than waiters. I’m beginning to…my name just called! I was about to suggest they were fake names, called out to give the rest of us some piece of hope, if not a piece of pizza. Alas, all they’ve done is check me in, and now I’m back waiting, names still filling the relatively quiet waiting room air, a canned music piano falling from the ceiling, the only other sounds the intake clerks quizzing patients their birthdate, address, doctor’s name, and such, for form’s sake. Another Joseph just called and I start up, but wrong last name initial. Some of the clerks call out first names only, others first name and last initial. I’ve not heard a last name called out. Several calls repeated for patients who have apparently given up the wait, dare I say, this Halloween day, given up the ghost.

    Should have brought a book with me to the lab. What am I reading? Natalia Ginzburg’s The Road to the City, one of the specialty ND books I bought awhile back – you’re supposed to be able to read them in a couple of hours, but my wandering mind disallows such taking it straight consumption, so I’ve been reading a short chapter each night before sleep. The new Dylan book, absurdly big heavy compilation of bits and pics and notes from the archives at the Bob Dylan Center in Tulsa along with heady new essays from solicited writers. I first heard of the book from Alex Ross’s blog, The Rest is Noise – Alex has an essay in the new huge Dylan book. Ah! They’ve called my name again, this time for the escort deep into the lab, into the land of vials and needles. And suddenly back home, the whole lab episode taking no longer than an hour or so. And here I am, breaking fast with a bowl of cereal, banana, and finishing off a bag of leftover potato chips. Also reading, typing while I eat (to finish this thread, started back at the lab), The Dinner Party, a book of short stories by Joshua Ferris, which I pulled out of the corner library box sometime ago but only recently opened, started reading, and found he’s pretty good – urbanely witty, reader friendly, realistic. His themes include relationships and communication and miscommunication – misunderstandings that lead one problem to another, a bit of slapstick thrown in. I’ve only a couple of stories to go to the end. Most of Ferris’s characters would probably have not read How to Know a Person, the new book just out by David Brooks, which I was inspired to give a chance after seeing Brooks on the PBS News Hour a week or so ago talking clearly about the Middle East quagmire (to give it a Vietnam era name, which refers to the politics, not to the human disaster, for which a name has not yet been invented), as was Jonathan Capehart, clear and articulate, that is, Brooks’s supposed opposing viewpoint, but not so much. Anyway, I’m in Part One of the Brooks book, titled “I See You.” Now you see me, now you don’t. A magician’s trick. And a half a dozen or so other readings lying around here there and everywhere, work in progress, if you can call it work, reading, it’s not, unfinished, it’s play.

    Going to take a break from this writing now and work on my costume for tonight.

    Still later. Was joking about the costume. No costume. The day is ending, the evening come and gone, night now. No trick-or-treaters this year. Left the porch light off and watched Game Four of the World Series. After the game walked outside to see the night sky. A car pulls up down the block, stops in the middle of the street, lights out and flashers come on, and a couple of costumed characters alight and walk up to the only house on the block with holiday lights on. I head back inside. Play some guitar. Solo Halloween night. Then I return to this post and come down to this point, consider deleting the whole thing, like I deleted that Instagram walk video, for the same reason, too grainy, but I didn’t, obviously, do that. I think I’ll take a book with me to the next lab work appointment. Stay off the prose. Still, there’s something positive about mind-wandering. It’s a good antidote to all this live in the moment and give it your full attention pressure, the mindfulness movement. Playing guitar earlier I even started a new song, tentatively titled “Mind-Wandering.”

  • Wait!

    Who waits for Godot
    (rhymes with da dough)
    wants an oppo
    waiting for the doe
    in the dell –
    won’t you wait with me?

    Waiting for Godot
    for Larry, Moe, & Curly Joe
    for onomatopoeia to blow
    its toupee into the tree
    on a country road.

    Waiting for snow
    to cover the fallen
    waiting for the obvious
    and the obscure.

    Waiting for a
    tree to grow
    pi to round
    oh even
    waiting for you.

  • Vaccination Loop

    Around noon yesterday, a bumper to bumper half block line of cars continuously moved like connected parts of a tram and entered the dark barrow shaft entrance to the Oregon Convention Center underground parking mine, while a similar line of cars exited back into the partly sunny Portland spring day. Once in the garage, visitors politely and patiently vied for parking spots, which quickly opened and closed thanks to an efficient and extensive mass vaccination loop leading from the garage and through the building, organized by volunteers and clinicians from various organizations, including what appeared to be a deployment of an Oregon National Guard platoon. With the exception of the mandatory wait after being vaccinated, to watch for reactions, visitors had no still time to browse the book brought along or take out the knitting needles. Indeed, few were even looking at their cell phones, intent and occupied as they were with following personalized directions and moving along – short stays at this or that staffed table to answer a few questions, show ID, sit for the quick shot of vaccine, and schedule the second appointment (if this was the first) while waiting for the reaction release time written on tape and displayed on one’s shirt to expire.

    The goers to this convention seemed mostly older folks, most of whom no doubt did not consider themselves particularly old, just of a particular age, which would be considered an inadequate definition of a person. Yet here we were, grouped together by age and moving along like a line of kindergarteners on a field trip. Except for the Guard, everybody looked somehow out of uniform. Question: How can you tell a group of people is older? Answer: There are no tattoos. One fellow I noticed was wearing the rubber shower shoes we used to call go-aheads, shorts, and a flowered t-shirt, not regular gear in a Northwest winter month. A newcomer from California, maybe.

    Not without some trepidation had I prepared myself for the field trip before leaving home: what to wear? what route to take? what book to bring? Did I have my ID and medical card? How would I prove my appointment confirmation? This last, it turned out, I had over prepared for, and unwittingly as a result momentarily fell from the loop. Once into the building and into line, I noticed just about everyone was carrying a piece of paper, a print out, it turned out, of their email appointment confirmation. I no longer have a printer, but the email came with a QR (Quick Response) code that can be saved to and read by a cell phone or other scanner. And I had already pre-confirmed via online registration site the appointment, so I thought with that and my QR code saved to my phone, I was good to go. There were two lines moving quickly, everyone six feet apart and masked, instructed to be ready with confirmation proof. We were not yet within the Exhibit Room itself, but still in the lobby with its majestically high ceilings and large windows and aisleways full of natural light. When I reached the volunteer at the end of my line, I showed her my QR code on my cell phone, assuming she would scan it. But she said, “No, I need to see the date.” I had before leaving home cropped the code so it was fully visible, cutting off the rest of the email, including the date. As I now scrambled to find the original, she brushed my effort aside, pulled me from line, and directed me to a woman at a computer located at the end of a kind of train siding line, where no one was in line, so I quickly made my way to the computer and showed my QR code. Instead of scanning it, though, she asked my last name, looked at her computer, said, “Hi, Joe, go on in.” I merged back into line, my confidence in the efficiency of the loop restored, even if my QR code never did get scanned. I was reminded of the time when my girlfriend and I went to see the Jimi Hendrix Experience at the LA Forum. We waited in line while the gatekeepers took tickets and ushered people toward their tunnels, and too late realized that they were also checking purses. When my girlfriend opened hers, the little pint of as yet unopened Southern Comfort placed comfortably and clearly visible within, the gatekeeper said, “Go on in.” Jimi would have been 78 today, and could have fit comfortably into the vaccination line with the rest of us.

    Also, as it turned out, I had overdressed as well as over prepared. I began with my loose fitting Red Sox t-shirt, thinking I would take my outer shirt off and easily roll up the sleeve of the t-shirt to take the shot. Over the t-shirt, I wore a flannel long sleeved shirt untucked, and over that, a vest with many pockets for holding things like book, pen, and cell phone. And over the vest, a bright yellow, thin rain jacket. In both vest and jacket pockets I had stored an extra face mask. At one station, I was given a packet of information with a page to fill out: name, address, phone number, etc. And mother’s maiden name? Good grief! And the same questions, this time answered yes or no with check mark, I’d already been asked by a nice enough fellow at the station where I picked up the form, and from where I was directed to a grouping of round tables with golf pencils available for the filling out of the form. At the next station, an Army NG Sergeant asked to see my papers and ID. He did some work on his computer, scanned my medical card, wrote 70 in bright red ink at the top of my worksheet, and pointed me to yet another volunteer who directed me into a vaccination line. It was at this point I recalled the infamous follow the yellow line at my downtown LA draft induction physical, circa late 60’s. What a loop that one was, but I was now on deck, next up, and was directed to a desk number where sat a clinician with vaccine at the ready. She invited me to sit, and that’s when I realized I had worn too many tops. Trying to take the rain jacket, vest, and flannel shirt off all in one swift move, my arms got all tangled up in sleeves and tails and I fell into the seat feeling like a kindergartner who has just failed hanging up coat after recess. More questions, mostly the same ones, the shot (routine – the loose fitting t-shirt at least proved to be a good idea), bright day glow green bandaid, the piece of tape showing my wait time stuck to my Red Sox shirt, and I was on my way to the waiting area to sit out the reaction wait time and schedule my next appointment, all the while wrestling on the go trying to put my arms through the sleeves of my mess of shirts.

    The wait time proved invaluable as the cell phone scheduling of the second appointment looped and looped, looking like it was going to take as long as it took the schedule the first appointment – over an hour, while getting the vaccination, from parking to shot, had taken only about 15 minutes. But a volunteer happened by, I asked her for help, and she looked at my phone and said, “Oh, just type something into that space, anything, hi.” And I did. I typed “hi,” hit “schedule” again, and the loop stopped looping and kicked out my appointment: 3 weeks out, at 7:45 AM. Good grief!

    Field trip over, headed back home, reflecting on the experience. Before getting a vaccine appointment, folks generally are experiencing frustration and anxiety over the computerized process, the apparent vying for a limited number of appointments, feeling uninformed as protocols and procedures seem to change weekly, thinking it shouldn’t be this way, stuck in a time loop. The Convention Center experience, to the contrary, was personable, friendly, efficient. And I was sent home with a card confirming what I had just accomplished. I have it stuck with a magnet to the icebox.

  • Waiting for Sot

    Waiting for Sot

    Scruples. Chance. Fishing. Hiding.

    Most of the gods are on the make. Being at least part human, as I am, may cause one to harbor some scruples. These Sylvie relies on to keep me on the straight and narrow. It’s no wonder humans have created shame in an attempt to keep the activities of the gods under some control and keep them from seducing and infesting people with their talons and talents for abuse of power. The god Sot was both cob and pen. I was waiting for Sot’s message which should tell me when to expect Wally the Whale who would carry me in its belly out to sea. It should come as no surprise given the ambiguities of our origins that gods often have more than one name. I am sometimes called Chucker’s Chance, also Prior Probability. Possibility is not the same as probability. Nothing is impossible, but not necessarily probable. Initial singularity, an oxymoron, illustrates. The problem is we like to see something happen more than once so we can begin a line of best fit. One occurrence only creates a point, but not a line. Points are multidirectional in potential, while lines are by definition linear, lineal, and must contain at least two points, one of which can always be used as a referent. All of that the actuaries to the gods taught me – but that’s not to say I was a good student. For the next seven nights I made my way down to the pier to fish, waiting, testing my new cover, hiding out during the day in an attic above a garage in North Redondo. I had let my hair quickly fall to my shoulders as part of my new disguise. The beach cities are not particularly safe havens for hiding. Because the cities are relatively small and wealthy from enormous taxes from expensive properties and prolific and diverse businesses, their police are well funded. And the locals are not friendly to outsiders, though on the pier exceptions are made for the fishers who are supposed to add color and character which satisfies the tourist expectation and taste for the exotic. Still, there are rules written and unwritten that could mean either one’s safety or danger, depending on unknown, random forces at work. One had also to watch out for the Lifeguards.

    “Waiting for Sot”
    is episode 17 of
    Ball Lightning
    a Novel in Progress
    in Serial Format at The Coming of the Toads.
    (Click link for continuous, one page view of all episodes.)

  • A Clean, Well-Lighted Place

    A Clean, Well-Lighted PlaceEvery hour seems happy hour
    in this diner on some corner,
    the coffee pot fresh and warm,
    each table a worn flower.

    She passes her reflection
    in the silence of the old
    jukebox, vacant these many
    years, and fingers a grey hair

    wistfully behind one ear.
    He sees her waiting all hours,
    having come to occupy
    the booth outside her kitchen.

    He orders breakfast, coffee and eggs,
    for lunch, her meatloaf and mashed,
    later in the afternoon, a milkshake
    and fries, on the radio

    a Bach organ squeezed, strained
    through a deep, golden tuba.
    But he did not notice who left her
    the short note in her tip jar.