No Way to Git Along

– This ain’t no way to git along, Honey,
no way to git along. There’s plenty’ll
get in our way, Babe, so let’s git along.

– Life’s no song and dance, it doesn’t
rhyme, and it’s get not git.
– Git is the cowboy variant.
– I once knew a guy named Gil.
– Was he a cowboy?
– Cowboys spell same’s everybody
else. You’re just a romantic fool.

– Git along home, git along down
the line, git to bed, git up and running
coffee and runny scrambled eggs.
Pull out a paper and jot this down,
no way to git along, weary Deary,
no way to get it all back home.

– I ain’t no doggie and even if I was
I don’t like to git get nor gat for
that matter. And this singing
cowboy gig of yours ain’t
worth a saltine cracker
in a bowl of filé gumbo.

– This is no way to git along, my
Shepherdess, no way to git along.
Come ride with me and we’ll mend our
fences and bring the doggies home.

Dialog in the Garden of Eden

Eve: I’m bored.
Adam: Let’s do something.
Eve: There’s nothing to do.
Adam: We could name some more animals.
Eve: Oh, please.
Adam: We could ask God what to do.
Eve: I don’t think he likes me.
Adam: You don’t know that.
Eve: Do you want to go shopping?
Adam: For what? We already have everything we need.
Eve: Let’s go play with the animals.
Adam: They make poor partners.
Eve: Did you clean the kitty litter box this morning?
Adam: Yes, and I have tilled the garden.
Eve: Have you thought of a good name for me yet?
Adam: We are innocent.
Eve: How boring is that.
Adam: We could pretend.
Eve: Pretend what?
Adam: Pretend that we are not innocent.
Eve: Has God not forbidden petension?
Adam: God is full of flatulence.
Eve: That big bang was sure something.
Adam: We could dress up and go out.
Eve: La-de-da.