Instructions: Read each row left to right, then, in each empty cell in the first column, insert a word that irks you. In the corresponding empty cell in the far right column, insert your irky word’s opposite. If you can’t think of a word that irks you, insert a word that feels good to your ears. (Note: You may also read the words by column, top to bottom, or bottom to top – individual reader experience may vary.)
| play | ear | piquancy | ||
| ear | wig | able | ||
| ear | ate | oblige | ||
| ear | riff | hive | ||
| ear | rev | rant | ||
| iron | browse | nose | ||
| ear | irk | sum | ||
| ir | clothed | ears | ||
| ear | iris | bow | ||
| ear | nose | spell | ||
| ire | oh | you | ||
| rear | reverse | ably | ||
| wear | plus | tear | ||
| spread | sheet | foot on | ||
| oval | ire | head | ||
| for | get | it | ||
| come | out | side |
Reader Satisfaction Survey
In the cell to the right of the comment, indicate your level of satisfaction with The Coming of the Toads blog, using a 1 for “highly likely,” 2 for “depends,” 3 for “no opinion,” 4 for “not likely,” and 5 for “no way.” If the question suggests an “agree” or “disagree” answer, use 1 for “totally agree,” 2 for “agree somewhat,” 3 for “sometimes,” 4 for “I meditate often,” and 5 for “totally disagree.”
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2 |
3 |
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5 |
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| I’ll probably stop reading your blog soon: | |||||
| I’d rather listen to the radio or watch TV: | |||||
| I prefer posts that are not poetry: | |||||
| I want to see more pictures: | |||||
| You should sponsor some giveaways: | |||||
| Have you thought of knitting for a hobby? | |||||
| I liked the recent bicycle post: | |||||
| I’m not sure what you mean by a post?: | |||||
| I’m currently reading “War and Peace”: | |||||
| I’m thinking of subscribing to a magazine: | |||||
| I’m thinking of buying a new car: | |||||
| I have enough clothes to suit my needs: | |||||
| I can never get a plumber when I need one: | |||||
| I got here by mistake: | |||||
| I was referred here by my plumber: | |||||
| My socio-economic demographic sucks: |
Thank you for visiting The Coming of the Toads and for participating in the survey.
A few gratuitous pics for this post, because some readers have come to expect pics with words, and, believe it or not, appreciate a good selfie when they see one:
The Coming of the Toads 
I got here by mistake: 1 and 5
I flee from surveys and lists, but tolerate them as music performed by Joe, who, in the way of John Cage, is affable and charming.
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Ah! thx, Ashen! I might have to quote that on my next book cover!
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Ha ha! This one has me literally laughing from the gut.
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Thx, John. I thought of you as I was working on this, thinking maybe I’d already lost another reader. I seem to have lost a couple of Brit readers of late, some sort of Br[blog]exit? But you never know. I read a fair number of blogs, but I seldom leave a comment. Sometimes. I’ve mentioned and as you can see I’ve been working on new template designs, but I’ve not found anything in the free bin that is quite what I want, but I’m still not willing to put in the hours to learn what’s necessary to create an actual original page. So it goes. Thx for reading and commenting!
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Absolutely have not lost me, Joe. I consider you now my friend. I feel warm affection for you. If you don’t get a reply from me it’s only because I’m absorbed working on some things of my own. This post is hilarious. It gets me thinking of the whole blog format, or the kind of customer service mentality we find ourselves reduced to, doing this shit. Attention K-Mart shoppers. Cue up cheezy 80’s tunes background music. To do the survey conducted by Joe Linker to win a prize, take a number and stand in line.
You yourself are a serious literary artist and a fine thinker, Joe. Poignant levels of meaning open up and a deep reaching humor which blossoms within like a flower when you poke fun at the predicament you find yourself in.
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Predicament, indeed, that which gives us our foreboding – no, that’s presentiment. Something verbed – that’s predicament. You give this mare’s nest of a blog too much credit. But thanks for reading and commenting. As John Cage said, “I consider laughter preferable to tears.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSulycqZH-U
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